A Pantless Margin of Error
The other day I was thinking about this random guy I hooked up with over a decade ago. The details in mind are vague (nor would I divulge details), I remember a long and fast… scooter ride. I remember paint all over my legs and arms from an interactive art show where we met; him washing the green and grey off my body in the shower. I get a kick out of the peculiar ways people express excitement and can recall a “oh hell yea” akin to some skater surfer dude dialect.
That’s it.
I fell asleep in my room. He passed out somewhere in the house. In the morning, I woke up to a man’s clothes but no man in sight. My first quandary was “rapture?”. It was 2012 after all. I did some hazy-eyed detective work and quickly gathered that he in fact stole a pair of woman’s underwear from my roommates laundry basket, put them on, and walked out the door to a destination unknown. He wasn’t from the area. He must of felt apprehensive and too stranger-ly to grab his clothes laying on the floor of my closed bedroom. Perhaps his penance for an unremarkable performance was the motivating factor for this decision. Or maybe the entire meeting was intended to collapse into sissy fodder all along. Suffice to say, I gave his hand-carved leather belt to my roommate to make up for the lost panties.
I’ll spare the blog post I should have written: “7 reasons why you should hire a companion in lieu of a dating app”. This anecdotal evidence is strong enough to suggest that properly seeking out a professional provider reduces a vast and pant-less margin of error. If I’ve learned anything from the personal to the professional, it’s that intention does not negate a taste for adventure and spontaneous connection. Consciously orienting around the subtle care or nurturing that may take place after rolling around with someone new is a modus operandi that’s yet to steep into American hook-up culture. Whether it be the night of or morning after, I pour one out for every communication fally that has resulted in an epic walk of shame.
If I’m the one you’re looking for, I might snicker if you say “oh hell yea” to my undress but I won’t mind deep diving behind the nightstand to find your missing sock. Rest assured, you might leave with a cup of tea or a Hershey kiss but you will never leave a provider in an almost-naked frenzy. That’ll cost extra.
June 2022 Updates
In spite of our nearly finished retrograde and it’s mercurial attempts to get the best of me, I had a successful and fun visit to San Juan, DC and NYC this season! Thank you for making it possible for me to travel and stay in your city. If you helped out with unexpectedly high hotel rates and travel fare, you deserve a pile of cookies to the moon and back.
I’m going on a hiatus from June 4th - June 25th but will be available for one solo or duo date in NYC June 9th - 11th. Pre-booking in advance is required.
My fan page is also going on hiatus! If you subscribed or renewed before May 30th, look out for steep discounts on all my archived content. Videos will be released each week for the entire month. If you are not subscribed, the entry fee is half-off until July 1st. Enjoy! I will be back to answer messages and post new content again next month.
New duo partner just dropped! For the bi/curious or those interested in a more “curated” fantasy experience, please check out Emery Fields. Contact me or Emery for serious inquiries. Video consultation available (rates apply).
xo xo
